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BRUTALITY REPORT
WARNING! |
IN THIS WEEK'S ISSUE: |
| ► Celebrate Easter
in Brutality ► "Splatter Pattern" Recording Updates ► April Chopping Block Show ► More Hot Chicks in Brutality Report XXX This Week |
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So what in my brutal CD player this week? |
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| 1. Sacred Oath - Sacred Oath (very kick ass CD - I got it early - comes out in May) | |||
| 2. Exodus - Atrocity Exhibition (brutal thrash from Bay Area monsters) | |||
| 3. Cannibal Corpse - Evisceration Plague (brutal new death metal) | |||
So good to see you back in brutality once again my friends . . . especially on Easter Sunday as we put our own twist on the holiday! Rejoice in the brutalness of it all my friends and savage colleagues. It's been a typical hectic week here in the Low Twelve Command Center as I spew out more brutal propaganda than anyone on the planet.
I have an inspiring address to you from Pastor Pete, and I'm sure you'll all enjoy it very much. It's called "Origins of Sodomy" and I think most of you will find it enjoyable as well as informative on this Easter. In addition to that insanity, I'm playing the April Chopping Block Show for those who might want to listen to it again, or anyone who might have missed it last week. It's been getting a lot of plays and some good feedback from metal freaks the world over. I also have some updates on the new Low Twelve "Splatter Pattern" CD project and how that's all going, plus some new Low Twelve shows booked, and of course lots of skanks and sluts for you to whack yourself into oblivion over. Sounds like fun . . . jerking what you got on Easter Sunday. Why not?
So grab a box of tissues to clean up after you're done my brutal friends. We'll leave the posers to sitting in the background, crying and wishing they had junk big enough to sling around. They'll know their womanfolk will be wishing they were hung bigger than a Tic Tac the whole time. We can laugh about it and if you can reach one, throw an Easter Egg at their lame asses!
Now get on with it.
| PASTOR PETE AUDIO MESSAGE ON EASTER SUNDAY |
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| So many ideas were racing
through my mind on this Easter Sunday to see how I could inspire the
legions of Brutality Report readers and Low Twelve fans alike, who have
grown used to my brutal sense of humor. So - I've come up with
something that I think will give you all a bit of something to think
about this holiday, and if you can find someone willing to study along
with you . . . something to do as well. Check out my "Origins of Sodomy" on this Easter Sunday and share it with those you love . . . those you hate . . . or anyone who will fucking listen! Origins of Sodomy - Pastor Pete, Easter 2009 Send your comments to me (good or bad) at pete@lowtwelve.com Ha - check out a bit of an "ism" to the right as I put my brutal flare on the classic Peter Rabbit for Easter! I figured with it being a holiday and all, I would give Dan and Meister a bit of a break on the "isms". But . . . now that leaves Wes as the lone band member that hasn't been fucked with this way - so watch out Wes, I'm coming for you next you bastard! |
| POSERS WEEP WITH ANOTHER CHOPPING BLOCK UPON THEM |
posers not welcome! |
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Check out the latest edition of the Heavycore Chopping Block Show as I pound out show # 36 as the posers out in the world cry another river . . . as most of you readers know, this is the one hour show I host each month - only playing Heavycore bands. Be sure to listen so you can hear the two new "public service announcements" from the Poser Disposal Service. Listen to the NEW Heavycore Chopping Block part 1 (mp3) part 2 (mp3)
Part 1
Sacred Oath - Caught In the Arc
Mercyful Fate - Curse of the Pharaohs
Testament - 3 Days in Darkness
At the Gates - Slaughter of the Soul
Exodus - Deranged
Mountain Demon - Summoning the Mountain Demon
Unleashed - Black Horizon
Part 2
Aeon - Caressed by the Holy Man
Demonoid - Witchburners
Sacred Oath - Blood Storm
Fates Warning - Valley of the Dolls
Skeptik - The Last Laugh
Bolt Thrower - 4th Crusade Win a copy of Low Twelve's "Maggot Ridden Rotting Movie" DVD/CD if you guess this one right! Question - In one of the Poser Disposal Service "public service announcements" - you get something free if you bring in three poser heads to a local poser recycling center. What is that thing you get for free? Email your answer to join@heavycore.org - good luck you fuckers! The first person to get the right answer wins the free DVD/CD. So listen to both parts and win! |
- click here for more information on how to reach 10,000 metal heads each week with your ad!
Check out our xxx adults only section of the Brutality Report!
Guaranteed to make you jerk what you got!
| CORNJERKIN' NEXT
SATURDAY! We will be tearing it up in brutal fashion next Saturday April 18th in Hoopeston Illinois - also known as Cornjerkin' Country. Check it out and get your ass to this show! Saturday April 18th Check out some other shows I've been busy booking while all this brutalness is going on! We're going to be doing a Poser Roast in September and it looks like the outdoor show on June 6th is going to slam as we tear it up with brothers in Blessed With Pain among others . . . and that one will also likely be a Poser Roast as well! Here's to some wicked shows coming up . . . hang on tight you bitches! |
| SPLATTER PATTERN UPDATES |
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| Wes has been busting his ass
behind-the-scenes working on the click tracks for all the songs.
Right now, he's got all of them done aside from the three last songs
that we just wrote. He also has put some rough drums down for us
to begin recording the guitar, bass, and vocals to. Since the
click track never changes, he's going to be using the same thing to
record his final drums to and everything will match up nicely in the
end. That was the whole reason for doing the click tracks this
time around, because we were finding spots where things would slow down
or speed up and it was tough to record to that. With the click
tracks, the beats per minute will always be the same in the various
parts of each song. So now that I've got a good chunk of these to work on, we'll be doing quite a bit of recording between now and the show we're doing May 30th in Bloomington Illinois. This will likely mean some missed band practice sessions, so Meister and Dan can get over here and lay their stuff down. This time it will go much easier because not only the click tracks, but I've got much better studio monitors this time, and both of them have been through the process of recording with me before, and so they'll be more comfortable. I'm excited about it - but I do know the amount of work that we'll be putting in will be tough on all of us. We'll keep you posted on how things go and of course show pics and video of the sessions. In the meantime, we have completed the instrumental "Fire For Effect" and have begun the arrangements for the last song - the title track "Splatter Pattern". So far that song is kicking total ass and is a good way to finish the writing for this CD - on a brutal note! |
| DON'T FORGET ABOUT XXX! |
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| Last year we started taking
some of the more "extreme" photos off the Brutality Report so that
others could enjoy following Low Twelve and Heavycore without having to
see that sort of stuff. So we starting doing the Brutality Report
XXX - for you more hardcore bastards (or bitches) out there. As you know, we've got lots of hot chicks on the Brutality Report XXX page. But, that's only for adults, so if that's not your thing, or you're not legal to check that sort of thing out, then don't go there. You must be 18 or older to see that sort of thing - so you've been warned. But if you are legal to see that stuff and wish to - then you can see hot chicks like Ingrid (pictured right) and many more, doing some nasty things. So why not check out lots of free picture and movie galleries where you can see sexy teens getting naked and performing acts that only adults can see. We do a feature each week of one of the hottest young girls on the web - offering several galleries for you to check out. Some have movies on them too, so you can see much more than still shots. We also post several more galleries - featuring girls that do nasty things. We also have an archive of past galleries, so you could wind up with a disability claim from all the jerking you're about to do! So be careful and don't hurt yourselves . . . we need you in the trenches - being brutal as ever for the underground metal movement. So that gives you an idea of what's in store . . . lots of hot teen chicks doing nasty things. Need I say more? Just one last time - remember you must be 18 or older to see such things . . . so don't go there unless you're legal. Click on the link below if you want to check out Brutality Report XXX and don't come whining to us if your cock gets sore from all the jerking - or if you're a female and that nub gets worn down. Enjoy the perversion! Happy jerkin'! |
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"This Side Toward Enemy"
SCHEDULED LOW TWELVE BALL SLAPPINGS
Few can match the heaviness of Low Twelve live . . . . come see for yourself why soundmen all over the US have scratched their heads and asked "are you sure there are only four of you up there?". Come out and support some seriously brutal metal and get a tampon thrown in your face too. To book Low Twelve - email us at contact@lowtwelve.com
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Saturday April 18th
at the Hoopeston VFW, 4th & Orange St,
Hoopeston IL
7:30pm, all ages (21 and older can drink with ID), $3 cover
with Stinkditch and Seminary
Saturday May 30th
at Coconut Louie's, 2303 E. Washington
Street, Bloomington IL
10pm, 21 and older, $5 cover
with Stinkditch and Ocularis
Saturday June 6th
Miller Bash '09, 18735 East 1100 North
Rd, Westville IL
4pm, all ages, OUTDOOR PARTY, $3 per person
food, drinks, and parking available
with Gritheryn, Blessed with Pain, Ire, Reign of Cerebus, and Uncovered Remains
Saturday June 13th
Welcome Home Ian Show - Private Party
- Bloomington IL
details pending
with Ocularis and Seven Year Existence
Saturday September 26th
POSER ROAST at the Hoopeston VFW, 4th & Orange St,
Hoopeston IL
details pending, all ages (21 and older can drink with ID)
with Fallen Oath, and more tba
Saturday October 31st
Hallowfest V Show! 2 stages - 10
bands!
at the Rossville VFW, Route 1,
Rossville IL
details pending, all ages (21 and older can drink with ID), $3 cover
with Stinkditch, Zeroshift and more tba
contact@lowtwelve.com for booking
| LINKS YOUR ASS SHOULD KNOW! | |||
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Heavycore - main site myspace online store Killer Karaoke - main site myspace Rotting Corpse Records - Blabbermouth - Jeff Gaither - Mike Stoltz - Consumption Junction - Rotten.com - Phil Flash |
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Thanks for reading the Brutality Report . . . we hope you enjoyed your weekly brutalization. If you would like to be added to our email list to receive the link to this report each week then fill out our email form. It's that simple!
Brutal 24 Fuckin' 7,
Pete Altieri
pete@lowtwelve.com
