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BRUTALITY REPORT
WARNING! |
IN THIS WEEK'S ISSUE: |
| ► July Chopping
Block Show Complete ► New Meisterism ► Low Twelve Coming to the Metal Church ► More Hot Chicks in Brutality Report XXX This Week |
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So what in my brutal CD player this week? |
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| 1. Testament - Low (brutal thrash from Bay Area gods) | |||
| 2. Sacred Oath - Till Death Do Us Part (kick ass live old school metal) | |||
| 3. Mercyful Fate - Don't Break the Oath (love that old school black metal) | |||
So good to see you back in brutality once again my friends . . . it continues to be hectic here my brutal friends as Low Twelve prepares for our first show with the two new guitarists - Dan and Meister. We're pumped as hell and continue to improve - tightening up the machine of brutalness. Soon enough, we'll be on stage and throwing tampons in your sweating faces . . . while the nastiness abounds!
Aside from all the live preparations, I managed to bust out the July edition of the Heavycore Chopping Block Show - that features tons of wicked metal as always. In addition, I spin a song from each band playing the upcoming Poser Roast 23 show . . . it's well worth checking out. Also I've got a good new Meisterism to share with you that may have just raised the bar on that whole deal. It's a good one! In addition, we have a show booked at the kick ass Metal Church in rural Stanford Illinois. It's an all ages with with Zeroshift and others - so keep your eyes open for that in the report. Plus the usual nasty Skank of the Week that is sure to make you lose your breakfast my friends, and the sizzling hot sluts in the Brutality Report XXX page. This week will give you plenty of imagery to fill your "spank banks" for a long while. So get ready to jerk your cock, or your pussy . . . or whatever the fuck you've got!
Posers out there . . . your dicks are way too small to be here. Us real metal freaks are feeling our manhood hitting the floor while we read on, and the females who dare read these pages, are surely using one hand to scroll down the page, and other to rub the nub . . . cumming with each word I type!
Now get on with it.
| A BUFFET OF POSER ENTRAILS . . . |
listen to 60 minutes of
sack shredding metal |
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As you all know, I host an hour-long radio show each month that is played on dozens of internet metal radio stations. Of course you loyal readers get a chance to listen to it when you like, directly from the site. This show I spin a song from each of the six bands playing Poser Roast 23. I also play some new Bleed the Sky and live Sacred Oath, as well as lots of other kick ass shit. Listen to the NEW
Heavycore Chopping Block - July 2008 Show #29
Part 1
Part 2 Send your answer to join@heavycore.org and the first one gets a free copy of the Roasting Posers Volume I DVD! |
| LOW TWELVE GOING TO CHURCH? |
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New Low Twelve guitarist, Dan Steinlicht, booked us a show at the infamous Metal Church in Stanford Illinois. For those who don't know about this place - it's a former church that has been converted to a bar with a stage for bands. They do metal shows now and again - and I've always wanted to do one there. So we will be! Friday August 15th There will be two bands added to this one - so you'll have four bands to tear you a new ass on that show. Should be a great time, and doing an all ages show will be great. It's been a while for Low Twelve. Dan also plays guitar in Zeroshift, so you'll get a real good look at his fret scorching skills . . . so get your ass out and support the cause! This will be a brutal sacrilegious experience I'm sure . . . tampons will fly! |
- click here for more information on how to reach 10,000 metal heads each week with your ad!
- check out our xxx adults only section of the Brutality Report!
Guaranteed to make you jerk what you got!
The Brutality Report supports
| ANOTHER MEISTERISM |
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| I had this one come to me
very late last night . . . and usually I'm in bed early - but I stayed
up to create this gem.
Meister has been a good sport about us fucking with him and has said that he's been getting quite a few people stopping him in public and giving him new ideas! At band practice yesterday, while we did a quick sound check - Dan and Wes busted out Guns N' Roses "Knocking on Heaven's Door" while I sang along with "Knocking on Meister's Door". It was funny as fucking hell! If you have any good ones - feel free to send them to me at pete@lowtwelve.com or if you'd like to go right to the source, send your ideas/comments to Meister himself at meister@lowtwelve.com Next time you see the growling lion in the MGM logo, think of the real guy who's supposed to be in that picture! |
| DON'T MISS POSER ROAST 23 . . . |
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I've been telling you all about this show - but you
better mark this down and make sure you come out to both nights! Paulie's, 612 N. Main Street, Bloomington Illinois - doors open 9pm, 21 and older show! Friday August 1st Saturday August 2nd These are going to be two wicked shows! Come check out Human Artifacts stage show featuring some corpses - I can't wait to see it. Plus - don't miss the first Low Twelve show with Dan and Meister sharing axe duties! Fuck yeah - all the bands shred - so come out in support bitches! We'll be giving out free CD's and DVD's all night - so don't miss this great weekend of metal mayhem! |
| STUPID PRACTICE SHIT We had a good week at practice . . . as we ran through the 50-minute set and continued to work hard on the live show. We're really pumped to get Dan and Meister on stage with us, so we can put that in the past and move on with writing the new songs to finish the new CD and record this winter. We've only got three more songs to write and then we're done. As you know - the new CD will be wicked as the song list is (in no particular order): Dying Room We hope to put the "Splatter Pattern" CD out in early 2009 - we'll keep you posted on this! Check out a few pics I took yesterday at practice, and you just might wonder how does a pack of retards actually get anything done at practice?
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| DON'T FORGET ABOUT XXX! |
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| As you know, we've got lots
of hot chicks on the Brutality Report XXX page. But, that's only
for adults, so if that's not your thing, or you're not legal to check
that sort of thing out, then don't go there. But if you are - then you can see hot chicks like Nikki Sims (pictured right) and many more, doing some nasty things. So why not check out lots of free picture and movie galleries where you can see sexy teens getting naked and performing acts that only adults can see. So click on the link below if you want to check out Brutality Report XXX and don't come whining to us if your cock gets sore from all the jerking - or if you're a female and that nub gets worn down. Enjoy the perversion! Happy jerkin'! |
subscribe to the Low Twelve Brutal Email List - it's free!
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"This Side Toward Enemy"
SCHEDULED LOW TWELVE BALL SLAPPINGS
Few can match the heaviness of Low Twelve live . . . . come see for yourself why soundmen all over the US have scratched their heads and asked "are you sure there are only three of you up there?". Come out and support some seriously brutal metal and get a tampon thrown in your face too. To book Low Twelve - email us at contact@lowtwelve.com
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Saturday August 2nd
at Paulie's, 612 N. Main Street, Bloomington Illinois
9pm, 21 and older
Poser Roast 23 with In the Wake of the Butcher and Vesicant
(more bands playing Fri 8/1 for Poser Roast 23)
Friday August 15th
at the Metal Church, Stanford Illinois
7pm, all ages (21 and older can drink)
with Zeroshift and others to be announced
Saturday August 16th
at venue to be announced
9pm, 19 and older
with Buried in Black and What Thou Will
Saturday September 27th
at Metal Up Your Tap, Chicago Illinois
Rotting Corpse Records Showcase
details pending
with Whorrid, Ebonmortis, and Deadnight
Friday October
31st
at venue to be announced
Special Halloween Show
9pm, 19 and older
with bands to be announced
Saturday November 1st
at the Rossville VFW, Rossville Illinois
Hallowfest IV Show
8pm, all ages - 21 and older can drink with ID
with Stinkditch and bands to be announced
contact@lowtwelve.com for booking
| LINKS YOUR ASS SHOULD KNOW! | |||
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Heavycore - main site myspace online store Killer Karaoke - main site myspace Rotting Corpse Records - Blabbermouth - We See Dead People - Jeff Gaither - Mike Stoltz - Consumption Junction - Rotten.com - Phil Flash |
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Thanks for reading the Brutality Report . . . we hope you enjoyed your weekly brutalization. If you would like to be added to our email list to receive the link to this report each week then fill out our email form. It's that simple!
Brutal 24 Fuckin' 7,
Pete Altieri
pete@lowtwelve.com
