subscribe to the Low Twelve Brutal Email List and get these reports sent to you every week . . . for FREE!
|
BRUTALITY REPORT
DATE POSTED
WARNING! |
IN THIS WEEK'S ISSUE: |
| ► Poser Roast 23
Details ► Pete Meets Up With Tim's Mom ► More Low Twelve Updates ► More Hot Chicks in Brutality Report XXX This Week |
 |
So what in my brutal CD player this week? |
|
|
| 1. Testament - The Formation of Damnation (brutal new thrash from Bay Area gods) | |||
| 2. Arsis - We Are the Nightmare (completely wicked technical death metal) | |||
| 3. Kataklysm - Prevail (intense new death metal from Canada) | |||
So good to see you back in brutality once again my friends . . . as I unleash the wickedness upon you once again! It's been a typical hectic week here in the Low Twelve Command Center, as posers lose their heads by the dozen and we create more brutal metal for the masses.
Low Twelve continues to prepare for our first show with the new lineup on Saturday August 2nd - and I've got a lot more on the upcoming Heavycore event, Poser Roast 23 that's coming to Bloomington Illinois on August 1/2 - with two nights of ball slapping madness. In addition, many of you emailed in suggestions for the hilarious new driving game I came up with - Meister of Puppets . . . so I'll show some funny ones that came in. Also, I had the privilege this week to take Tim's mom out for lunch and to talk about how she's been since moving to Florida shortly after Tim's death. It was a great meeting and I got to know a lot more about Tim and his family. Also more updates on Dan and Meister - the two new guitar scorchers for Low Twelve and how things are going with their brutal education, another listen to the May Chopping Block Show for anyone who may have missed it, and of course all the hot teen bodies you can stand by check out the Brutality Report XXX this week. Of course I've got a real nasty Skank of the Week for you sick perverts too - so don't miss her.
As we all know, now is the time for the weak to shut off their computers and try and forget about 458 Brutality Reports hammering them into submission. How terrible it must be to know that your girlfriend, wife and even your Mom read the reports, and possibly even rubs the nub while checking out what a real metal band is supposed to be like. That must be tough . . . but allow me to cave in the side of your head with my manly 5-string bass!
Now get on with it.
| ONE MORE TIME . . . MAY CHOPPING BLOCK SHOW |
hosted by Heavycore's |
| I ran this a couple weeks
ago, but wanted to make sure everyone had a chance to check it out . . .
the May edition of the Heavycore Chopping Block Show. For anyone
who doesn't know about the Chopping Block Show - it's a one hour show I
host each month where I only play Heavycore bands. This show is slamming - check out the new Testament track, plus tons more ball slapping tunes that are sure to shatter your computer screen and melt those fucking speakers. Don't come crying to me if it does - you were warned! Listen to the NEW Heavycore Chopping Block - part 1 (mp3) part 2 (mp3)
Part 1
Part 2 There is a contest question if you listen to the show - so you can score a free copy of the Heavycore DVD "Roasting Posers Volume I" with Pro-Pain, Lividity, Low Twelve, and many more. So good luck and hope you dig the show. Feel free to send feedback (good or bad) on the show to me at join@heavycore.or |
| TIM ON MY MIND |
|
|
Last Sunday night Tim's mom Mary McCleland left me a voicemail. She was in town visiting Tim's sister and wanted to let me know she would be around until Thursday, before she headed back to Florida. So - I called her up and we met for lunch one day. It was great. I had only met Tim's mom one other time - at Tim's funeral in 2002. So needless to say, it was not under the best circumstances. Over the years, I've kept in touch with her by email, as I let her know when I stop by the cemetery in rural Carlock Illinois - where Tim and his dad are both buried. So it was nice to actually have some time to talk to her about Tim and what he was like growing up - from the person who would really know! She was awesome - and has such a great wit about her, that I can really see where Tim got that side of him from. Tim's dad died when Tim was only 11, and his siblings are several years older than him, so it was mainly his mom who brought him up by herself. As you can only imagine, we laughed ourselves silly exchanging Tim stories - and she really had me going. It was just cool as hell. So take this cue to bust out your copy of the Low Twelve "Flesh of the Weak" CD - the only one that Tim appeared on and enjoy his fret-scorching abilities and if you have any old issues of the Low Times, remember some of the funny stories that we've told about him over the years. He is gone - but certainly NOT forgotten! (RIP Tim McCleland - 1965-2002) |
| POSER ROAST 23 |
|
| I've mentioned this big
Heavycore event to you before . . . but soon you'll begin to see more
promotion of the event since it's coming in only three months! Wow
- it's only three months until this ball busting event that features
some of Heavycore's most brutal shit. Both nights will be slamming . . . and we'll be doing our first show with the new guitar players on the 2nd night. So make sure you make it out to both shows to not miss one single note of this savage display. Feel free to copy the graphic to the right and post it on your myspace pages, put in bulletins, leave as comments - or what the fuck ever. I'll be sending emails out to the bands very soon on this - I've been completely buried with other stuff going on and just haven't had much time to focus on this. Plus - trying to promote a show that's more than 3 months away was something I thought would be a waste of time . . . so as we approach this date, you'll be hearing about it more and seeing stuff on myspace and that sort of thing. Human Artifacts is headlining the first night and will have a stage show of corpses . . . sounds fucking brutal! The mighty Hurtlocker from Chicago will be slamming as headliner of the second night - so it's going to be an intense double header. Bloomington will not be the same again for a long time! Plus we've got other great bands playing, some locals and some not - so come out in support. |
- click here for more information on how to reach 10,000 metal heads each week with your ad!
- check out our xxx adults only section of the Brutality Report!
Guaranteed to make you jerk what you got!
| MEISTER OF PUPPETS |
|
| We had lots of fans emailing
in suggestions for the hilarious new driving game I came up with -
Meister of Puppets. If you missed it - basically you and a friend
just come up with song titles (preferably metal of course) that you
substitute one of the words with Meister. Part of the fun is
figuring out what song they're spoofing, some are of course easier to
figure out than others. Of course Meister is one of our new guitar
players and since he's from Pontiac - that means he's not totally
"right". Ha. I asked you to come up with some funny ones and send them in. Check out some good ideas that Twelve Heads suggested: Meister's Got Another Thing Comin' (Judas Priest) Holy Meister (Dio) Meister of Death (Slayer) Rime of the Ancient Meister (Iron Maiden) Sandwich of Meister (The Mentors) Living Dead Meister (Rob Zombie) It's endless really . . . my son has been doing it with his friends and they've had some hilarious shit going back and forth. He even sent Meister a text and Meister responded with "you don't want to fight meister with meister". Fuck yeah! Check it out - Meister has an email address now at meister@lowtwelve.com - so send him some shit and feel free to send him your Meister of Puppets suggestions. |
| STUPID PRACTICE SHIT |
|
| Ok, we may not be as cool as
Eric Maxlider taking his shirt off on stage or ordering up some Flingers
for a show, but we can still flex our brutal muscles! Ha. We
were fucking around when doing our photo shoot last month, and I thought
it would be funny to show you one of the "fuck around" pics Gabby
Hinkson took of us.
We had a great week at practice as we continue to plow into the songs and teach Dan and Meister the brutal catalog. We finished up "Bodies in My Pocket" and began work on the epic "Mountains of the Dead" which is probably the most challenging of the songs for them to learn. We're trying to learn all the new stuff first, and then concentrate on the older material as we get closer to the August show. The only song from the older stuff we've learned is "Lines Drawn" and it sounds fucking wicked as hell. Crazy Mike stopped by yesterday and was floored when he heard it - among others like "Bind Torture Kill", "Dying Room", "Chopping Block" and "Defiance to the End". He said it's different, but not in a bad way. He said some of the songs sounded almost exactly like they did before, but a little fuller. That fucking awesome coming from Crazy Mike himself! |
Another thing that's coming into full circle is Meister's vocals. WOW. He's been doing his brutal homework, listening to the songs over and over and working with the lyric packet I gave him at the beginning in March. It shows - because he's been doing a fantastic job on the vocal stuff. I think you guys are going to dig what we've got going on and how we're going to make use of the dual-vocal attack in the new lineup. He's doubling me up and doing some wicked growling in the background at times - and in the new song we'll be writing soon, "Hand of the Dying", he'll be doing co-lead vocals with me. I can't even wait.
Also - Dan has been tearing it up on solos. He's got a distinctive sound and is coming into his own with the guitar solos. I'm sure the fans are going to love what he's doing with the new stuff and how reminiscent of Les he'll be with the older songs. Dan is doing a great job and so the sound continues to evolve.
So prepare yourselves for one hell of a ball slapping coming August 2nd. If you're not in the Bloomington Illinois area, you can catch us at one of the other shows we've got coming up in the fall . . . so check out the listing below and mark your calendars now for this nastiness!
Check out some solo pics that Crazy Mike took of us in the photo shoot last month.
Dan Steinlicht - lead guitar
Meister - rhythm guitar, vocals
Pete Altieri - lead vocals, bass
Wes Pollock - drums
| DON'T FORGET ABOUT XXX! |
|
| As you know, we've got lots
of hot chicks on the Brutality Report XXX page. But, that's only
for adults, so if that's not your thing, or you're not legal to check
that sort of thing out, then don't go there. But if you are - then you can see hot chicks like Liz Vicious (pictured right) and many more, doing some nasty things. So why not check out lots of free picture and movie galleries where you can see sexy teens getting naked and performing acts that only adults can see. So click on the link below if you want to check out Brutality Report XXX and don't come whining to us if your cock gets sore from all the jerking - or if you're a female and that nub gets worn down. Enjoy the perversion! Happy jerkin'! |
subscribe to the Low Twelve Brutal Email List - it's free!
order
the latest Low Twelve CD
"This Side Toward Enemy"
SCHEDULED LOW TWELVE BALL SLAPPINGS
Few can match the heaviness of Low Twelve live . . . . come see for yourself why soundmen all over the US have scratched their heads and asked "are you sure there are only three of you up there?". Come out and support some seriously brutal metal and get a tampon thrown in your face too. To book Low Twelve - email us at contact@lowtwelve.com
|
|
Saturday August 2nd
at Paulie's, 612 N. Main Street, Bloomington Illinois
9pm, 21 and older
Poser Roast 23 with Hurtlocker, In the Wake of the Butcher and Vesicant
(more bands playing Fri 8/1 for Poser Roast 23)
Saturday August 16th
at the Phoenix, 215 S. Neil Street, Champaign Illinois
9pm, 19 and older
with Buried in Black and What Thou Will
Friday October
31st
at the Phoenix, 215 S. Neil Street, Champaign Illinois
Special Halloween Show
9pm, 19 and older
with bands to be announced
Saturday November 1st
at the Rossville VFW, Rossville Illinois
Hallowfest IV Show
8pm, all ages - 21 and older can drink with ID
with Stinkditch and bands to be announced
contact@lowtwelve.com for booking
| LINKS YOUR ASS SHOULD KNOW! | |||
|
Heavycore - main site myspace online store Killer Karaoke - main site myspace Rotting Corpse Records - Blabbermouth - We See Dead People - Jeff Gaither - Mike Stoltz - Consumption Junction - Rotten.com - Phil Flash |
|||
Thanks for reading the Brutality Report . . . we hope you enjoyed your weekly brutalization. If you would like to be added to our email list to receive the link to this report each week then fill out our email form. It's that simple!
Brutal 24 Fuckin' 7,
Pete Altieri
pete@lowtwelve.com
