subscribe to the Low Twelve Brutal Email List and get these reports sent to you every week . . . for FREE!
|
BRUTALITY REPORT
DATE POSTED
WARNING! |
IN THIS WEEK'S ISSUE: |
| ► Sordid Mother's
Day Celebration ► Meister of Puppets ► Iraq Soldier Needs Metal ► More Hot Chicks in Brutality Report XXX This Week |
 |
So what in my brutal CD player this week? |
|
|
| 1. Testament - The Formation of Damnation (brutal new thrash from Bay Area gods) | |||
| 2. Exodus - Shovel Headed Kill Machine (more Bay Area thrash) | |||
| 3. Mercyful Fate - Melissa (going old school with these giants) | |||
So good to see you back in brutality once again my friends . . . it's been a typical hectic week here in the Low Twelve Command Center as I destroy the lives of posers each day as I continue to spread the word of brutalness. They cringe in my presence my brutal comrades!
Low Twelve continues to work hard with our new guitar players in tow - learning the brutal gospel each week. They've been making great progress, so read up on that later on in the report. I've also got more shows booked with the new lineup, so we can show off how intensely wicked the new sound is. Wait until you fuckers hear this shit! In addition, another soldier in Iraq sends an email to Heavycore, wanting some metal to help make his tour go by. I've got a picture of him serving the country proudly, and an address that any of you can send stuff to him and his troops. Support those who fight for our freedom! Also, I've got a hilarious new rage that's sweeping the nation, it's called Meister of Puppets. You'll find out much more about this craze, and can get in on the action yourself and even score some free metal. What a deal. Plus, since it's Mother's Day - we're going to show off some HOT MILF titties today - in celebration of mothers the world over. Plus much more hotness and girls doing nasty things in the Brutality Report XXX - so don't miss that shit.
You poser fags out there must really be hurtling, curling up in the corner of your Mom's closet, trying on her clothes and wishing you were born without a penis. Well, we understand. So on this Mother's Day - go ahead and "come out of the closet" and wear that shit proudly. Just don't be surprised if a metal maniac wearing a Heavycore shirt comes into your room and bashes your head in with a Louisville Slugger. Ouch - that's gonna leave a mark.
Now get on with it.
| SOLDIER NEEDS YOUR HELP! |
|
| Recently I got an email from
another soldier in Iraq who wanted some metal music sent his way.
Remember our good friend Buck who was from Pontiac Illinois and was
stationed in Iraq a few years ago? Well - he sent me an email and
I responded by sending emails out to Heavycore brothers, record labels,
and more - and he wound up getting a ton of stuff sent. That's
kick ass! So - Staff Sergeant Kevin Hansen, from Kansas - runs a metal zine called Brainscab and booked a show for Low Twelve several years back (2001) where we went down to Kansas and tore it up. We've kept in touch over the years, but SSG Hansen is a busy guy since he's in the US Army in addition to running his zine. When he ended up in Iraq, he sent me an email and said he really needed some metal. So - we're going to see if you fuckers can help him out and send some stuff his way. If you're in a band and can spare some free cds, dvds, stickers, shirts, or whatever - I'm sure he'd appreciate it. If you aren't in a band, but have some used stuff like that - or maybe even go buy him a new CD that just came out - since you know he won't have it over in the Middle East. Other ideas of stuff you can send - hard candy, gum, baby wipes, deodorant, soap, shampoo, metal magazines, and that sort of thing. Don't send any porn (or pork products) - it's illegal in Iraq! As a former US Army soldier myself, when you're out in the field for periods of time . . . having that stuff is like gold. So think of stuff you would want if you were camping out in a hot environment, maybe having to stay awake at all hours. Hard candy, gum, and that stuff is great for them to have! Help out SSG Hansen and send him some metal. He's into the heavy stuff - but also digs old school metal too. I'm sure any you send would be appreciated. Anything else you can toss in would be killer . . . I'm sure a letter thanking him for his service would also be appreciated. |
Keep in mind that when you send stuff to the troops overseas, the postage is as if you were sending it in the US. So it won't cost that much to send! So send as much as you can. I'm putting together a care package of my own to send him. Let's rallly our troops here and send this great American some stuff to help pass his time in the desert. I'm also sending an email out to Metal Blade, Nuclear Blast, Century Media, and more who can maybe get metal out to him!
Send your packages to:
SSG Hansen had this to say "Tell all bands and others it will be highly appreciated and METAL all the way!"
We hear you Sarge and we're going to unleash our metal troops to help you out! Want to send him an email? He's a busy guy over there, but I'm sure he would love to get some supportive emails from metal heads! scabofbrain@yahoo.com
| MEISTER OF PUPPETS |
|
|
Check this out . . . we were having some issues at practice last week with our PA and I was doing some mic checking while Meister was fucking around with the knobs. I got a bit tired of saying "check 1" and shit like that - so I started saying the name Meister. Well - that lead to me using his name in song titles - like Meister of Puppets. Well - I told my son Joe about it and we had a blast the other day, driving around - just blurting out song titles, band names, and even tv shows with the name Meister plugged in replacing one of the words. So if you're looking for a good road trip game to play - try out Meister of Puppets. Here's a few ideas to get your creative juices flowing. In addition, smoking bud helps out in getting some of the more obscure shit: Fight Meister with Meister For Those About to Meister, We Salute You Misty Mountain Meister Diary of a Meister Meister Hates Us All Whole Lotta Meister Meister Breath South of Meister It's also fun to try and stump the other person with a song title they may not have heard of before. So give it a shot. Send any of your funny ones to me at pete@lowtwelve.com and I might just post them here in a future Brutality Report! |
- click here for more information on how to reach 10,000 metal heads each week with your ad!
- check out our xxx adults only section of the Brutality Report!
Guaranteed to make you jerk what you got!
| MORE LOW TWELVE SHOWS AND STUPID PRACTICE SHIT |
|
| I have us booked for a
brutal double-header weekend for Halloween this year! Low Twelve
will be throwing down on Friday 10/31 at the Phoenix in Champaign
Illinois for their Halloween bash. Note - this will replace our
already booked 10/18 show there. We switched to the Halloween
show, knowing it would be a crazy one for sure! Also - we'll be throwing down again at the fourth annual Hallowfest show in the Hoopeston area. This year it's going to be on Saturday November 1st at the VFW in Rossville (just south of Hoopeston on Route 1) - so the night after the Phoenix show. We'll be laying down the brutality two nights in a row on that Halloween weekend. So get your asses ready for a kick ass time! I'm also working out the final details for the big Poser Roast 23 show at Paulie's in downtown Bloomington IL for August 1st and 2nd. Low Twelve will be playing our first show with the new lineup on Sat August 2nd, but both nights will be killer. On Friday we'll have Human Artifacts, Occularis, and Where Dead Men Walk. Then on Sat, we'll have In the Wake of the Butcher, Vesicant, Low Twelve, and Hurtlocker. It's going to be sick both nights - so keep your eyes out soon for flyers, and myspace bulletins about that big weekend of Heavycore metal. Also in the works in the 10 Years of Low Twelve show coming this fall to Paulie's in Bloomington. We'll be playing two sets and we'll be joined on stage by former drummer Steve Chestney as well as an appearance by Les Aldridge. It should be a blast! |
This week was good at practice as we added "Bodies in My Pocket" to the list of songs we know. The next one up is "Mountains of the Dead" - another one of the new songs we wrote for our upcoming "Splatter Pattern" CD. We also will be working on classics like "Crawlspace" and "Begging to Die" with the new axe slingers - so you old school fans won't be let down with what we can play with them, from the older material. It's been going very well as both Dan and Meister soak it up like a sponge and continue doing kick ass and throwing it down Low Twelve style!
Check out some pics we took while taking a break last night at practice:
Dan and Wes - a Cards fan and a Cubs fan . . . isn't
that just precious? Ha!
The Meister of Puppets himself with me . . . two
bald peas in a fucking pod!
Wes behind his new kit - that drum set is the shit .
. . wait until you all hear it!
Things are moving along at a breakneck pace for Dan and Meister as Wes and I shovel more Low Twelve into their brains. But they're doing great and we're all pumped as hell to get on stage and throw down in brutal style. I think many of you will like what you hear - it's going to be a little different for sure - but I think you'll dig the change and the additional layers of sound we have going on. It's a cacophony of brutality for sure!
| HAPPY MOTHERS DAY! In all seriousness . . . we all salute the mothers out there. It's a bitch of a job and you all deserve a pat on your brutal backs. But in celebration of mothers the world over, I thought I'd run the titty shot of a local fan and mother . . . who comes out to our shows all the time. She's a huge supporter of all the local metal here in Central Illinois and so - thanks to Stevie for letting us run this pic. We got tons of emails from guys all over the globe (Australia and Greece even) wanting to know who she was when the pic ran after the February show we did at Paulie's. All we'll tell you is her first name - and that's Stevie. You pervs can drool all you want, and even take out that smoke wagon and give it a jerk or two! Ladies - if you feel inclined to rub the nub over Stevie . . . then feel free! Jerk what you got! Happy Mothers Day . . . we love you MILFS out there!
|
| DON'T FORGET ABOUT XXX! |
|
| As you know, we've got lots
of hot chicks on the Brutality Report XXX page. But, that's only
for adults, so if that's not your thing, or you're not legal to check
that sort of thing out, then don't go there. But if you are - then you can see hot chicks like Nikki (pictured right) and many more, doing some nasty things. So why not check out lots of free picture and movie galleries where you can see sexy teens getting naked and performing acts that only adults can see. So click on the link below if you want to check out Brutality Report XXX and don't come whining to us if your cock gets sore from all the jerking - or if you're a female and that nub gets worn down. Enjoy the perversion! Happy jerkin'! |
subscribe to the Low Twelve Brutal Email List - it's free!
order
the latest Low Twelve CD
"This Side Toward Enemy"
SCHEDULED LOW TWELVE BALL SLAPPINGS
Few can match the heaviness of Low Twelve live . . . . come see for yourself why soundmen all over the US have scratched their heads and asked "are you sure there are only three of you up there?". Come out and support some seriously brutal metal and get a tampon thrown in your face too. To book Low Twelve - email us at contact@lowtwelve.com
|
|
Saturday August 2nd
at Paulie's, 612 N. Main Street, Bloomington Illinois
9pm, 21 and older
Poser Roast 23 with Hurtlocker, In the Wake of the Butcher and Vesicant
(more bands playing Fri 8/1 for Poser Roast 23)
Saturday August 16th
at the Phoenix, 215 S. Neil Street, Champaign Illinois
9pm, 19 and older
with Buried in Black and What Thou Will
Friday October
31st
at the Phoenix, 215 S. Neil Street, Champaign Illinois
Special Halloween Show
9pm, 19 and older
with bands to be announced
Saturday November 1st
at the Rossville VFW, Rossville Illinois
Hallowfest IV Show
8pm, all ages - 21 and older can drink with ID
with Stinkditch and bands to be announced
contact@lowtwelve.com for booking
| LINKS YOUR ASS SHOULD KNOW! | |||
|
Heavycore - main site myspace online store Killer Karaoke - main site myspace Rotting Corpse Records - Blabbermouth - We See Dead People - Jeff Gaither - Mike Stoltz - Consumption Junction - Rotten.com - Phil Flash |
|||
Thanks for reading the Brutality Report . . . we hope you enjoyed your weekly brutalization. If you would like to be added to our email list to receive the link to this report each week then fill out our email form. It's that simple!
Brutal 24 Fuckin' 7,
Pete Altieri
pete@lowtwelve.com
