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BRUTALITY REPORT
DATE POSTED
WARNING! |
IN THIS WEEK'S ISSUE: |
| ► New Low Twelve
Promo Pics ► Pete's "Holy" Potato Chip Makes Local Paper ► May Chopping Block in the Works ► More Hot Chicks in Brutality Report XXX This Week |
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So what in my brutal CD player this week? |
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| 1. Testament - The Formation of Damnation (absolutely KILLER new thrash metal CD) | |||
| 2. Arsis - United in Regret (great melodic death metal) | |||
| 3. Carcass - Heartwork (wicked death metal from the UK) | |||
So good to see you back in brutality once again my friends . . . it's been a usual crazy week here in Low Twelve land. We've been working hard with Meister and Dan to get the Brutal Express back on stage soon. I'm sure you fuckers will dig it - so prepare for one hell of a vicious ball-slapping when we do. You'll have a mushroom shaped bruise on your face for a couple weeks, so don't come crying to us when you do!
We took our first promo pics yesterday with local photographer Gabby Hinkson. So far, from what I've seen - they turned out awesome. We also had Michelle and Crazy Mike snapping shots too, so we had multiple cameras going off to get as many shots as possible for many things that I need pics for. I'll tease you with a few that we took so you can get an idea of what we did. In addition, we had a great week at practice as we completed a brand new Low Twelve song "Scourge" and have now added that to the lineup. Mike "Sexy Bearded Handy Man" Stoltz came by to enjoy a cook out with us and took some pics during practice. It was good to see him again - he even baked an apple pie with a 12 in the center. Nice! Also I'm working on the May edition of the Heavycore Chopping Block that will include an excerpt from the phone interview I'm doing with Testament singer Chuck Billy tomorrow. I can't even wait! Speaking of Testament - Wes and I (plus some other friends) are going to see them at the Chicago Power Fest in Mokena Illinois next Saturday May 3rd. We're stoked as hell. All that plus the usual parade of vagina in the Brutality Report XXX plus a skank to make you lose your lunch this week - it's fucking NASTY. So enjoy.
Ok poser pussies . . . now's the time you must make that painful choice each week. Do you proceed and feel as flaccid as a two-year-old boy coming out of a cold pool? Or do you just unplug the computer and pretend these past ten years of Low Twelve have been a bad, bad dream? Ha - it won't matter because your woman will be thinking about us when she's playing with her clit later. So why not give in and see what a real metal band does?
Now get on with it.
Now get on with it.
| "HOLY CHIP" MAKES THE PANTAGRAPH |
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| How about that shit?
Thanks to Bill Flick of the Pantagraph (Bloomington Illinois) for
running a story in the newspaper today . . . so maybe I'll get some
bidders on my "holy" potato chip? Who knows? It's been funny
with it - as most of my friends and family think I'm insane for trying
to sell the thing. I figured if some dude can sell a corn flake that is shaped like Illinois for over $1,000 - why not sell a potato chip with a cross in the middle of it? Plus - I found it the night before the biggest earthquake rocked the Midwest. How strange is that? Meister said he was taking a dump when the earthquake hit - and his toilet started shaking. He wondered what the fuck was going on! I was about five minutes away from waking up - so I didn't feel a damn thing . . . but many people did. It must have been a real trip. A friend of mine from CT - who I used to play with in Sacred Oath, said he was telling friends that it was Low Twelve jamming with the doors open that caused the earthquake. Hell yeah - it's totally possible that ten years of brutalness just caused the fault line to give way and succumb to the nastiness of it all. So if you want to bid on the "holy" chip - I've lowered the opening bid and the shipping. So check it out and if you want to score this piece of brutal history then place your bid! The bidding will end on Friday May 2nd - but I do have a buy it now on it - so anyone can score it at any time. With it being in the newspaper, I suspect someone will grab it now. Ebay Auction for Holy Potato Chip Good luck bidders! |
| MAY CHOPPING BLOCK SHOW IN THE WORKS | |
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I have just started working on the May edition of the Heavycore Chopping Block Show. So if you want to check out the current April show . . . you have only a few more days to check it out. The new show will feature a track from the brand new Testament CD, plus new stuff from Death Angel, 3 Headed Moses, and much more. It's going to also feature a piece of the phoner (phone interview) that I'm doing with Testament singer Chuck Billy tomorrow. I'm pumped about that shit! Chuck has been one of my idols for a very long time. I would have to say he's been the biggest vocal influence on me and so it's going to be an honor to talk with him on the phone tomorrow at 4:15pm. Listen to the latest Heavycore Chopping Block - April 2008
Part 1
Part 2 I should have this new show posted in the next Brutality Report - so enjoy this one until then. |
| SCOURGE CONTEST
WINNER! Last week we ran a contest to see if anyone could name what famous book the line from our new song Scourge, appeared in. The line was "from each according to his ability - to each according to his need". The answer was "The Communist Manifesto" by Karl Marx. Congrats to Jason from Hammond Illinois for getting both parts of the question right and scoring a copy of Low Twelve's CD "This Side Toward Enemy" and a poster to go along with it. Fuck yeah. Also - honorable mentions go out to Dennis from Elgin Illinois for emailing me that the line originally appeared in "The Organization of Work" by Louis Blanc in 1840. I was impressed by his knowledge . . . fuck yeah. Dennis already has all our cds - or I'd have given him one too for being a smart bastard. Who said metal heads were dumb? Fuck that! |
- click here for more information on how to reach 10,000 metal heads each week with your ad!
- check out our xxx adults only section of the Brutality Report!
Guaranteed to make you jerk what you got!
| NEW LOW TWELVE PROMO PICS TAKEN |
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| We took lots of pics
yesterday - in total over 250. We had local photographer Gabby
Hinkson taking them with her high speed camera, and we also had Crazy
Mike using the band digital camera, plus Wes' girlfriend Michelle
Baughman taking them with her digital camera. So we had multiple
cameras going off at the same time. The locations we picked were somewhat "symbolic" with areas we've used before . . . I'll note those as you check out a few pics below that we took. Once Gabby gets me her pics this week - we'll be selecting some shots as the official promo pics so we can begin using them on the site, as well as on the myspace page, and in our promo kits that go out to labels, radio stations, magazines, and more. It was great to take some new shots, with our new lineup - so we can officially show the world what the new Low Twelve looks like. |
downtown Bloomington Illinois - under the
"underpass" on Main Street
we took our very first promo pics in this area back in 1998 - photo by Michelle
Baughman
downtown Bloomington Illinois - under the
"underpass" on Main Street, on the tracks
photo by Crazy Mike Lanham
Evergreen Cemetery, Bloomington Illinois
we took pics here in 2000 for Wes' first shoot - photo by Michelle Baughman
Desolate Country Road - Shirley Illinois
we took pics here in 1999 and again in 2001 - photo by Crazy Mike Lanham
Gabby Hinkson and Michelle Baughman taking pics
near the "hobo house"
photo by Crazy Mike Lanham
We'll have more pics to show next week I'm sure . . . thanks to Gabby, Michelle and Crazy Mike for braving the 40-degree weather and the brutal winds! You guys kick ass.
| STUPID PRACTICE SHIT & COOKOUT |
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| We set up a little cook-out
to thank our friends and photographers for helping out and it was a
great idea . . . we enjoyed some food and chilled out as friends before
hitting the practice room like madmen! Check out Mike "Sexy
Bearded Handy Man" Stoltz and his home made apple pie complete with a 12
in the center. Hell yeah. It was really good too! Dan
made some KICK ASS chili and the rest of us brought some burgers, dogs,
buns, potato salad, baked beans, chips and more. It was a great
time. After that . . . we hit the basement for a good solid practice. Stoltz was blown away at the new Low Twelve sound and so that was good to see his reaction, knowing he's heard us countless times with Les. He said it had a full sound, and that it was different of course - but very kick ass. Sweet! We finalized our new song "Scourge" and brushed up on the songs we've learned so far. We've also got a set list compiled of songs we plan to play out for our first few shows as a band. So - we know we have about 5-6 more to learn to be able to handle a 50-minute set. Our first show isn't until August 2nd - so we are confident that things will be brutally tight and ready to unleash to our fans. We're pumped as hell . . . check out some pics that Stoltz took of us while we practiced. He tried to get close to my scrotum - but I slapped him back! |
Wes
Dan
Meister
Pete
So we continue to shred and prepare for the onslaught . . . you better be ready for this shit!
| DON'T FORGET ABOUT XXX! |
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| As you know, we've got lots
of hot chicks on the Brutality Report XXX page. But, that's only
for adults, so if that's not your thing, or you're not legal to check
that sort of thing out, then don't go there. But if you are - then you can see hot chicks like Liz (pictured right) and many more, doing some nasty things. So why not check out lots of free picture and movie galleries where you can see sexy teens getting naked and performing acts that only adults can see. So click on the link below if you want to check out Brutality Report XXX and don't come whining to us if your cock gets sore from all the jerking - or if you're a female and that nub gets worn down. Enjoy the perversion! Happy jerkin'! |
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"This Side Toward Enemy"
SCHEDULED LOW TWELVE BALL SLAPPINGS
Few can match the heaviness of Low Twelve live . . . . come see for yourself why soundmen all over the US have scratched their heads and asked "are you sure there are only three of you up there?". Come out and support some seriously brutal metal and get a tampon thrown in your face too. To book Low Twelve - email us at contact@lowtwelve.com
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Saturday August 2nd
at Paulie's, 612 N. Main Street, Bloomington Illinois
9pm, 21 and older
Poser Roast 23 with Hurtlocker, In the Wake of the Butcher and Vesicant
(more bands playing Fri 8/1 for Poser Roast 23)
contact@lowtwelve.com for booking
| LINKS YOUR ASS SHOULD KNOW! | |||
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Heavycore - main site myspace online store Killer Karaoke - main site myspace Rotting Corpse Records - Blabbermouth - We See Dead People - Jeff Gaither - Mike Stoltz - Consumption Junction - Rotten.com - Phil Flash |
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Thanks for reading the Brutality Report . . . we hope you enjoyed your weekly brutalization. If you would like to be added to our email list to receive the link to this report each week then fill out our email form. It's that simple!
Brutal 24 Fuckin' 7,
Pete Altieri
pete@lowtwelve.com
