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BRUTALITY REPORT
DATE POSTED
WARNING! |
IN THIS WEEK'S ISSUE: |
| ► Tits, Ass & More
at First Low Twelve Show! ► Killer Karaoke Live Video Clip ► More Low Twelve Shows Booked ► Hot Next Door Nikki galleries and much more |
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So what in my brutal CD player this week? |
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| 1. Carcass - Heartwork (completely killer death metal from the UK) | |||
| 2. Hurtlocker - Embrace the Fall (killer new thrash from Chicago) | |||
| 3. Killer Karaoke - Destroying the Classics (gotta love it) | |||
So good to see you back in brutality once again my friends . . . what a wild week this week in the Low Twelve Command Center as I recovered from my hospital stay and we got geared up for the first Low Twelve show of 2008.
Speaking of the first show, Crazy Mike Lanham went on a total camera rampage this week! Holy shit! He actually scored a "camera hat trick" this week with a titty shot (actually multiple titty shots), a vagina shot, and the most elusive asshole shot all in one show! Oh man - wait until you see this shit. Crazy Mike is the nude camera god that's for sure and you'll see it all for yourself. WOW! I asked him after the show, where can we go from here? I don't know how it can be topped short of him filming some actual sex acts at a show. Hell - we have a video camera . . .
The show went great and you'll see all the pics to prove it. In addition, the Killer Karaoke stuff went over well and you'll get to see a video of me doing "My Heart Will Go On". It's funny stuff. I've also got some information about the upcoming March edition of the Heavycore Chopping Block Show, more Low Twelve shows booked including a 2-day fest with As I Lay Dying, and much more! Of course we've got all the tits, ass, and more you can stand - so brace yourselves for a classic report.
Now get on with it.
| KILLER KAROAKE LIVE MADNESS |
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| Before the Low Twelve/Ocularis
show on Friday, at Paulie's, I busted out with some Killer Karaoke.
It was a good time, and the crowd seemed to get into it. Dan, the
sound man, had some trouble with the CD player into my second song, so
it was cut short. I opened up with some jokes and stuff . . . and
then busted into "My Heart Will Go On". It was touching to say the
least, as the crowd waved their arms back and forth with the music and I
even saw a few lighters going! Nice! Then I closed out my set with "Stayin' Alive", where vocalist Jeremy Meister jumped up - since he helped me record the track a couple years ago. It was great, but that's when the CD player took a shit. What a buzz kill! But it was a lot of fun and a good way to warm up the crowd. I had Wes film me doing my routine, and so check out this clip of me doing "My Heart Will Go On". The 10th person to send an email to me through the myspace page, will score a free copy of "Destroying the Classics" on CD. If you're not a myspace friend, then go to www.myspace.com/killerkaraoke and sign up! http://www.lowtwelve.com/video/killerkaraoke-myheartwillgoon-live.wmv |
| MARCH CHOPPING BLOCK SHOW COMING . . . |
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This week I'll be doing the March edition of the Heavycore Chopping Block Show. It should be a brutal one that's for sure, as I got some new shit sent in to spin. If you missed the last show, with tons of speaker-destroying metal - then click on the link below so you can hear it in streaming mp3 format. If you want to run a 30 or 60 second ad on the show, I need to hear from you quickly at join@heavycore.org because time is running out. The ads are not much at all - only $15 for the 30 second spots and $25 for the 60's. If you pay by paypal, you get your ad played twice in the show. What a deal! |
- click here for more information on how to reach 10,000 metal heads each week with your ad!
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So you want to try something new in the
bedroom? Check out the NOSY DINGO. This one sounds
like fun . . .
While receiving oral pleasure from a girl in the "69" position, her nose happens to rub your taint (the area between your nuts and your asshole). Wow, if you can pull this one off - you need to send us a pic at contact@lowtwelve.com |
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| LOW TWELVE TO PLAY
WITH AS I LAY DYING AND MORE . . .
We got an email about the big Tri-County Metal Fest in Prinecton Illinois for April 25-26th at the Bureau County Fairgrounds . . . As I Lay Dying, Fear of God, Lividity, Hurtlocker and tons more will be jamming along with us for those two days. They're going to have two stages and it sounds like a good fucking time! We're playing the Friday night show since we're already booked on Saturday April 26th in Hoopeston. Get more info on the show or to get tickets. Also check out below in the "scheduled ball slappings" section. We've also got two shows booked at the Phoenix in Champaign Illinois, a great small metal bar we've torn to shreds many times. We've got two out of state Heavycore bands coming in for these shows and so we're looking to spread the love a little. We're pumped to get back to Champaign and play again! We're also working on the 10 Years of Low Twelve show at Paulie's for this summer - I'll have the details on this one soon. Paulie's is all about doing it there, and we're psyched to do a show to mark our first ten years which will be this summer. Fuckin' A - that's a lot of Low Twelve! |
| THOSE HOT SLUTS NEXT DOOR |
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| So you fuckers love to see
chicks getting naked? Well, you've cum to the right place.
In this column each week we feature a different hot chick. She's hot as
hell and it's no wonder her webmaster sends her galleries to us nearly
every week! While you're checking out these galleries, feel free to take the site visits. They're usually free and you can see more than just a few pics. Some of them feature videos and more. If you join up as a member, you get to see all the galleries and some of them include some seriously wicked stuff! Often times you can chat with the girls and mail in stuff for them to wear for future photo shoots. How about that? Check out these galleries we're featuring this week and don't worry about it. I won't tell on you. Promise! Just don't blame us if you get in trouble at home or school . . . or like one poor Twelve Head - he got fired from work for looking at porn. Use some fucking common sense . . . grab that box of tissues and get to spankin! http://galleries1.gagonmycock.com/galleries/020108CD0308/hosted.html?nats=MTUwMzU6Mzox http://galleries1.lesbiansextales.com/galleries/020108AB0108/hosted.html?nats=MTUwMzU6Mzo0MQ http://galleries1.15on1.com/galleries/02040803CD08/hosted.html?nats=MTUwMzU6MzoyOQ http://www.badgirlpotd.com/galleries/nikkihilltonlive/mgp/01/hosted.html?nats=MjM3OToxOjM4|Sexy http://www.badgirlpotd.com/galleries/robinricci/tgp/06/hosted.html?nats=MjM3OToxOjEw|Robin |
| BRUTAL FIRST SHOW OF 2008 |
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| We got the chance to blow
the rust off our live wares this Friday night at Paulie's in downtown
Bloomington Illinois. It was a fun show - and good to get back on
stage again since our last show in November. As you all know,
we've been working very hard on new material and it was also killer to
bust out a couple of new songs live for the local fans. They
really seemed to dig it.
I opened it up with Killer Karaoke as noted earlier in the report. Ocularis got up and despite not having a bass player, they tore it up and the crowd loved them. They actually have a new bassist, who is still learning the songs and will be making his first appearance soon. All these guys are kick ass and their fans are a lot of fun too. All the locals came out and put a good crowd in Paulie's for this wicked local show. It was also great to see other bands who weren't playing like Shannon from Invocation, Matt from In the Wake of the Butcher, and the like coming out in support. Fuck yeah. |
We opened up with "Lines Drawn", "Chopping Block" and "Defiance to the End" to knock the crowd back on their ass. I was in some pain with my recent surgery, but I managed to get through the whole set without problems. Our stage volume was ripping and it was great to play live again. We played our two newest songs "Mountains of the Dead" and "Bodies in My Pocket" which went over great. We even blew the dust off "Begging to Die", which we haven't played in over six years. We closed out the show with "Crawlspace" and called it a night. It was a lot of fun. I tossed out some free cds, dvds, and of course tampons to the crowd.
Check out the pics:
Big Mike Collier - Ocularis (sorry no other shots
turned out guys)
Wes Pollock - Low Twelve
Les Aldridge - Low Twelve
Pete Altieri - Low Twelve
Bob (Ocularis) and Bird with tampon and beer!
While all this was going on . . . Crazy Mike was like a madman with the camera! Check out these pics below . . . I can't even believe how many different women he got to undress! I believe there were FOUR different girls in these pics!
ALL HAIL CRAZY MIKE LANHAM . . . SPECIAL THANKS TO NATE GEYER FOR THE ASSISTANCE!
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| Order one of these brutal
shirts! See the back design below. They're only $15 each
plus $2 shipping. If you want 2x, those are $18 plus $2 shipping.
We have them in medium, large, x-large and 2x. Send cash or money
orders payable to Pete Altieri to:
Low Twelve Command Center Outside the US, please send $6 shipping per shirt. If you want to pay by PAYPAL, then send it to us at contact@lowtwelve.com and make sure you specify your size!
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order
the latest Low Twelve CD
"This Side Toward Enemy"
SCHEDULED LOW TWELVE BALL SLAPPINGS
Few can match the heaviness of Low Twelve live . . . . come see for yourself why soundmen all over the US have scratched their heads and asked "are you sure there are only three of you up there?". Come out and support some seriously brutal metal and get a tampon thrown in your face too. To book Low Twelve - email us at contact@lowtwelve.com
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Saturday March 29th
at Eastside Tavern, Broadway Street, Columbia Missouri
10pm, 21 and older
with 3 Headed Moses and Slugtrail
Saturday April 19th
The Phoenix, 215 S. Neil Street, Champaign Illinois
8:30pm, 19 and older (21 and older can drink with ID)
with Necrodemon and other to be announced
Friday April 25th
Tri-County Metal Fest, Bureau Valley Fairgrounds
Princeton Illinois
6pm, all ages (21 and older can drink with ID)
with As I Lay Dying, Fear of God, Lividity, Hurtlocker, and more
fest runs two days, Low Twelve is playing only 4/25 - for more
info
Saturday April 26th
Hoopeston VFW, Route 9, Hoopeston Illinois
8:30pm, all ages (21 and older can drink with ID)
with Stinkditch
Saturday June 21st
The Phoenix, 215 S. Neil Street, Champaign Illinois
8:30pm, 19 and older (21 and older can drink with ID)
with Time to Kill and other to be announced
contact@lowtwelve.com for booking
| LINKS YOUR ASS SHOULD KNOW! | |||
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Heavycore - main site myspace online store Killer Karaoke - main site myspace Rotting Corpse Records - Blabbermouth - We See Dead People - Jeff Gaither - Mike Stoltz - Consumption Junction - Rotten.com - Phil Flash |
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Thanks for reading the Brutality Report . . . we hope you enjoyed your weekly brutalization. If you would like to be added to our email list to receive the link to this report each week then fill out our email form. It's that simple!
Brutal 24 Fuckin' 7,
Pete Altieri
pete@lowtwelve.com
