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BRUTALITY REPORT
DATE POSTED
WARNING! |
IN THIS WEEK'S ISSUE: |
| ► Celebrating Tim
McCleland's Life ► More Low Twelve Shows Booked ► Hot Next Door Nikki galleries and much more |
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So what in my brutal CD player this week? |
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| 1. Testament - The Legacy (getting pumped for new Testament in April) | |||
| 2. Cannibal Corpse - Gallery of Suicide (killer US death metal) | |||
| 3. Decapitated - Nihility (can't get much more brutal that this from Poland) | |||
So good to see you back in brutality once again my friends . . . it's been a typical hectic week here in the Low Twelve Command Center. We got in two practices this week and pounded out more work on new songs as well as some "blasts from the past" for the 2008 live set list. True Twelve Heads will really love some of the older songs we're doing this year that we haven't done since Tim left in 2001.
Speaking of Tim, this report will feature our memories of Tim as we approach his birthday on February 12th . . . we also mark it's been six years since he died. Instead of being all bummed about such an anniversary, we thought doing it as a celebration of what made Tim uniquely Tim. I'm sure most of you will dig it - and for those who never got to know Tim will probably get a kick out of it as well. In addition to that, we've also got another show booked for 2008 and are working on a few others as well. We're also trying to set up a special 10 Years of Low Twelve show for the summer. We also got more work done this week on "Scourge" and of course we have the usual parade of pussy to show off as well as a very nasty skank for you sick bastards out there who enjoy that.
So what the fuck are you waiting for? Dig in and get ready to get your ass kicked oh-so-brutally. You posers out there should open the nearest desk drawer, put your cock inside (if you can do that with the tiny thing you call a cock) and slam the drawer closed as hard as you can twelve times.
Now get on with it.
| WE EAT BRAINS - REMEMBERING TIM MCCLELAND |
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| I still deal with the pain
of losing my best friend in February 2002. It was probably the
hardest thing I've ever had to deal with and that includes fighting
cancer . . . if that tells you anything. Every February since his
death, I usually have to fight off a wave of emotion that comes over me
because I think about him on the anniversary of both is birth and death,
as well as my own birthday that also comes in February. It makes
me think of my own mortality I guess. So what's up with the title of this article - We Eat Brains? Well . . . anyone who got an email from Tim, after he joined the 20th century and got a computer, would get these emails that had "we eat brains" in the subject line, and then just gibberish in the body of the email. Something like this: ##%$#%$%#%$&%$ Tim thought that shit was the funniest thing. It was pretty funny to those of us in Low Twelve, because we usually noted that the time was early morning after Tim went out to a bar for the night. So we knew he was probably drunk as hell and laughing, in that hideous way only Tim could capture, typing out the Tim-coded email. I actually still have one of those emails saved in my email in box . . . I can't seem to delete it for some reason. So in true We Eat Brains tradition, I thought telling some funny stories about Tim would be far better for you (as well as me) this year. We mark six years of Tim being gone this month - so enjoy the humor along with me. If you want to remember Tim this month, put on "Flesh of the Weak" and listen to his crushing guitar tone and ripping solos . . . because that's what Tim was - an incredible metal guitar player. |
always the jokester on band trips . . . here's
Tim with rubber darts stuck to his bald head and flicking his nipple for all of
Missouri motorists to enjoy!
One of the funniest stories I remember about Tim was when I gave him this CD and told him it was wicked . . . and that he would just love it. The band was called GIL, which he questioned - thinking it didn't sound like something he would like. But I assured him it was "bad ass" and featured "incredible guitar solos". So he took my word for it. About a week later, I got a call from Tim. It was an angry call . . . he told me that he was drawing a bath for himself upstairs (the house Tim lived in at the time, didn't have a shower, only a bath tub) and put that CD on downstairs on his brutal ass BOSE system. He ran up the stairs, jumped in the bath and was looking forward to enjoying the CD I gave him after a long day at work. Well - when the CD came on, Tim was in shock when it was the worst bullshit he ever heard. But, since he was already in the bath tub, he didn't want to get out all wet to shut it off - so he suffered through it. He must have cursed me with every miserable note that GIL played. It's funny, every so often we joke about GIL at practice and laugh about how pissed Tim must have been at me . . . swallowed up in bubbles while that crap whined on!
that fucking cigarette . . . everyone would
always marvel at how he kept it in his mouth and sang back ups!
That cigarette thing was classic Tim all the way. He was a big smoker and so when he played on stage, he couldn't go a whole show without smoking a few. It was always funny to watch fans laugh at the way that cigarette stayed in his mouth while he screamed backing vocals along with me. Tim knew they watched him, but he seldom would make eye contact with them. Sometimes I would catch him smiling from across the stage, as he noticed the spotlight was on. Tim was a very shy person, so it was not in his character to show off and that sort of thing. The saddest thing about his passing - was he probably never realized how many people loved to watch him play guitar and how many people enjoyed being around him. The funeral home in Bloomington Illinois where the service was held, was standing room only and there were some who didn't even get in the building! Even Ryan from Mudvayne was there - he was a pall bearer along with me . . . Tim, Les and Wes used to play with Ryan years before they knew me! He was actually Tim's room-mate for a while in the mid 1990's. Funny thing about that - Ryan left in a hurry and stiffed Tim for about $200. He left behind a lot of personal shit - like a family photo album and other stuff. Tim thought he should sell stuff on ebay to make up the money he lost. I told him - why the fuck not? He also used to get a lot of bills for Ryan sent to his house, most of them were unpaid parking tickets from Illinois State University.
all of us who knew Tim miss him a great deal . .
. hardly a day goes by I don't think of him in some way!
Tim impacted a lot of lives. I'm sure everyone who knew Tim, thinks of him often. I know I do. I stop by and visit his grave about every 2-3 months. I email Tim's Mom when I do - to let her know the grave site is picked up (Tim's Dad is buried next to him) and ok. It's nice to keep in touch with her. She lives in Florida and according to Tim's sister Debbie - she goes golfing every day! I run into Debbie every so often, she works at a Walgreens here in town that I go to a lot. Every time I see her, she asked to see my tattoo of Tim . . . and she cries. Everyone who really, really knew Tim wells up when they see it for the first time . . . . including me.
Tim McCleland - Never Forgotten
- click here for more information on how to reach 10,000 metal heads each week with your ad!
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So you want to try something new in the
bedroom? Check out the THE FISH EYE. Ahoy matie!
Fucking her from behind, you shove your
finger in her ass. She turns her head around in a one-eyed winking
motion to see what the hell is going on back there. Wow, if you can pull this one off - you need to send us a pic at contact@lowtwelve.com All hands on dick! |
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| THOSE HOT SLUTS NEXT DOOR |
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| So you fuckers love to see
chicks getting naked? Well, you've cum to the right place.
In this column each week we feature a different hot chick. She's hot as
hell and it's no wonder her webmaster sends her galleries to us nearly
every week! While you're checking out these galleries, feel free to take the site visits. They're usually free and you can see more than just a few pics. Some of them feature videos and more. If you join up as a member, you get to see all the galleries and some of them include some seriously wicked stuff! Often times you can chat with the girls and mail in stuff for them to wear for future photo shoots. How about that? Check out these galleries we're featuring this week and don't worry about it. I won't tell on you. Promise! Just don't blame us if you get in trouble at home or school . . . or like one poor Twelve Head - he got fired from work for looking at porn. Use some fucking common sense . . . grab that box of tissues and get to spankin! http://galleries.onlytease.com/395a/index.php?id=1640950 http://galleries.onlytease.com/409p/index.php?id=xxxxxx http://galleries.tease-pics.com/onlycarla/153e/index.php?id=xxxxxx http://www.badgirlpotd.com/galleries/robinricci/mgp/01/hosted.html?nats=MjM3OToxOjEw|Robin http://www.badgirlpotd.com/galleries/haleysummers/tgp/02/hosted.html?nats=MjM3OToxOjM2|Haley http://galleries1.gagonmycock.com/galleries/012108CF0103/hosted.html?nats=MTUwMzU6Mzox |
| MORE SHOWS BOOKED . . . PREPARING FOR BRUTALIZATION! |
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| We have been gearing up for
another great year of live shows. Of course this year marks 10
years . . . so it's a special one for sure. We've been excited to
show off our newest songs to the Twelve Heads as well as some blasts
from the past that we haven't played out since Tim left the band in
2001. Which songs are we doing? Well - you'll have to make
it out to one of the shows to find out! Our first show will be Friday 2/22 at Paulie's in downtown Bloomington. We'll be playing with our brothers in Ocularis and I'll be doing some comedic insanity with Killer Karaoke to open up the show! This should be hilarious. Bonesaw is going to join me on stage when I do "My Heart Will Go On" so that should be a pisser. We're also working on another Paulie's date for June/July, plus dates at the Phoenix in Champaign, as well as road trips to Ohio, Missouri, and more. So we hope to cover a lot of ground this year with some good trips! |
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order
the latest Low Twelve CD
"This Side Toward Enemy"
SCHEDULED LOW TWELVE BALL SLAPPINGS
Few can match the heaviness of Low Twelve live . . . . come see for yourself why soundmen all over the US have scratched their heads and asked "are you sure there are only three of you up there?". Come out and support some seriously brutal metal and get a tampon thrown in your face too. To book Low Twelve - email us at contact@lowtwelve.com
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Friday February 22nd
at Paulie's, 612 N. Main Street, Bloomington Illinois
9pm, 21 and older, $5 cover
with Ocularis and comedy from Killer Karaoke
Saturday March 29th
at Eastside Tavern, Broadway Street, Columbia Missouri
10pm, 21 and older
with 3 Headed Moses and Slugtrail
Saturday April 26th
Hoopeston VFW, Route 9, Hoopeston Illinois
8:30pm, all ages (21 and older can drink with ID)
with Stinkditch
contact@lowtwelve.com for booking
| LINKS YOUR ASS SHOULD KNOW! | |||
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Heavycore - main site myspace online store Killer Karaoke - main site myspace Rotting Corpse Records - Blabbermouth - We See Dead People - Jeff Gaither - Mike Stoltz - Consumption Junction - Rotten.com - Phil Flash |
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Thanks for reading the Brutality Report . . . we hope you enjoyed your weekly brutalization. If you would like to be added to our email list to receive the link to this report each week then fill out our email form. It's that simple!
Brutal 24 Fuckin' 7,
Pete Altieri
pete@lowtwelve.com
