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BRUTALITY REPORT
2007-439

DATE POSTED
11/25/07

WARNING!
These reports contain nudity, adult humor, and offensive material.  Do not
proceed if you do not want to see such materials or are not legal to view them.   

 IN THIS WEEK'S ISSUE:
► Low Twelve Off Season Begins

► New Killer Karaoke Released

► Heavycore Holiday Specials

► Hot Next Door Nikki galleries and much more
So what in my brutal CD player this week?

 

 
 
1.  At the Gates - Slaughter of the Soul (wicked Swedish thrash metal)
2.  Kreator - Enemy of God (still wicked - can't ever stop listening to it)
3.  Aeon - Rise to Dominate (still kicking my ass all over the place)
 

So good to see you back in brutality once again my friends . . . it's been the usual brutal week here at the Low Twelve Command Center as I spew more molten nastiness than anyone can possibly stand.  Step aside you weak fuckers out there in the crowd, while the rest of us dine on debauchery and do our weekly thing.

No Low Twelve shows this week, as you know we begin the official live show "off season"  and take to the V-12 and write new songs to prepare for recording.  It's a time of year that we look at with mixed blessings, but I'll explain more of that as you continue the report.  Also some new Killer Karaoke comes your way with the insane new Christmas CD "Seasons Beatings".  This CD is a classic and I'll be offering it as a traditional CD and for digital download as well for you tech-savvy Twelve Heads out there.  In additional to all the holiday frivolity going on here, I've got a little bah humbug going on here, and despite that I've mustered up the strength to do a Heavycore holiday special page for you metal freaks looking to score some deals.  Also I got some new hate mail to share with you and my response to it, plus lots of teen tits and ass to go around, another nasty Skank of the Week, and oh so much more!

So can you stand it?  You metal maniacs dig in and bite down hard when the beating starts.  It's ok, it will be over before you know it and you'll be craving the next report like a crack head.

Now get on with it.

HATE MAIL FUN

It's been a while since I have had some good hate mail to share.  This week I got one sent to me on the Heavycore myspace page that said some stupid shit about Low Twelve and Heavycore.  I'll let you all check out what was sent to me:

Falconer, Immortal, Wintersun, Vader, Disection, Vital Remains?  LAST TIME I CHECKED, abbath was not throwing tampons at the crowd.  Maybe if you spent more time writing music and actually learning how to play your instruments well, maybe, just maybe your band would not make me throw up in my mouth a little bit every time I hear you.  I love how you have the AUDACITY to include in your "list o bands" a fair number of TRUE metal bands who would never in any way, shape or form associate with your retarded metal cheerleading brotherhood of faggotry.  A good metal band can get places on their own, they don't need your pathetic redneck girl scout troop to impress people. 
 
In your fucking face.
 
signed,
christHate

I always use my "24-hour rule" when getting negative stuff sent to me.  Waiting 24 hours is a good way to cool down, think about a good response, and then unloading it.  In the past, I had lashed out right away and then wound up looking stupid myself.  In some ways, even responding is only giving the fucker what they want - which is a rise out of you.  Sometimes a response is necessary though.  So - here's what I sent to ChristHate.

ChristHate:
 
Thanks for the email - it was humorous to say the least.  It's been a while since I have gotten one like this, so I appreciate the chance to exercise my "retort button" and let you know how I feel about it.  I must admit however, it was more humorous checking out your myspace page to see how great you must be to dog on Heavycore and Low Twelve the way you did in your myspace message! 
 
Let's discuss Low Twelve first.  We've been playing for nearly 10 years together.  You mentioned that we should spend more time writing music and learning to play our instruments, when you've got songs like "Christians are Retarded".  I wonder what lyrical acrobatics you had to go through to spin a song like that?  I tried to read the lyrics but you don't offer them.  On our page you can read the lyrics - because I'm very proud of the words I write. 
 
You obviously are just so obsessed with the blast beat mania, that you think anything played slower than that isn't hard to play.  You couldn't be more wrong actually.  I've been playing since 1984 and I doubt any of you were even born then.  I'm not saying I'm the best bass player in the world, because I'm not, but I'm sure as hell not bad enough to have some myspace hack artist tell me I suck. 
 
Your reference to me throwing tampons off the stage has been a gag of ours for many years.  Our music is very serious for the most part, so we try and mix some humor in it to keep the show fun.  One of the things I don't like about a band like yours is that you're all so into the Satan thing that you can't even listen to anything else. 
 
As for Heavycore, we do offer a variety of metal and some of it is stuff I'm not into personally.  But our bands like the camaraderie and it has worked well for the past 8 years.  If you're into black metal, then you might not like some of the more old school bands.  But that is what Heavycore is about.  Whether you dig it or not doesn't really matter, because there are many more that do like it and have used it to help get them further along in the business.  I'm not going to defend the purpose of Heavycore with someone who will never get it.
 
I also enjoyed the "redneck girl scout troop" comment about Heavycore.  That's pretty funny, since I'm from the Bronx and I used to think that everyone outside of NYC was a hick when I first moved to the Midwest. 
 
Speaking of that - I'm thinking that you should learn how to spell the world label on your myspace (it's not lable) before you start saying shit about others learning how to play, write songs, and calling us rednecks. 
 
All the bands in the Heavycore members list are there because either they signed up to join, or their label (note the correct spelling) signed them up.  So I'm not sure what you meant about your comment here.  Several of the large bands I've interviewed over the years have heard of Heavycore before and think it's a great idea.  I'm talking about bands of the caliber of Kreator, Sodom, Exodus, Torture Killer, and more.
 
You also wrote another short email about some of our members being Christians.  I'm not sure what the fuck that has to do with anything!  I realize that most of you black metallers are into the Satan thing - and that's fine, but a band's religious preference (or lack of) does not dictate how we view their music. 
 
In closing, you mentioned that a good metal band can get places on their own.  So what will you do?
 
Pete Altieri - Heavycore

If anyone wants to check out their myspace page to see what they're about, or to leave them a message of your own - go ahead and check out www.myspace.com/christhate

 

NEW KILLER KARAOKE COMPLETE

new Killer Karaoke

"Seasons Beatings"

8 new songs plus a Killer Karaoke original
"O Cum Like Old Faithful"

www.killerkaraoke.net

www.myspace.com/killerkaraoke

I've got the new Killer Karaoke Christmas CD, "Seasons Beatings" complete and ready for you!  If you want to use a debit/credit/paypal account then you can click on the link below and order one right now!  They're $8 (plus $2 shipping in the US) for a CD.  If you want to do a digital download of the entire CD it's only $5 or $1 per song if you only want a single or two.  Check out the mp3 for "A Holly Jolly Christmas" while you decide!

Here is the track listing:

Killer Karaoke - Seasons Beatings

A Holly Jolly Christmas (listen)
All I Want For Christmas Is You
Sleigh Ride
Feliz Navidad
The Chipmunk Song
Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree
The Little Drummer Boy
O Cum Like Old Faithful (the Peter North song)

Digital downloaders . . . email me at pete@lowtwelve.com and I can explain how you can pay for the songs and how I will send them to you.

Click below if you want to order the CD (not digital download - an actual CD)

To order by snail mail, send $10 in cash or money order payable to Pete Altieri to:  Heavycore, PO Box 4324, Bloomington IL  61702 (outside the US send an additional $5 for shipping).  

 

ADVERTISE HERE - click here for more information on how to reach 10,000 metal heads each week with your ad!

 

 So you want to try something new in the bedroom?  Here's one that would involve starting a fire, so use some fucking common sense!  Check out the CALIFORNIA WILDFIRE!

To set the California mood, play some Beach Boys while you're fucking your woman.  Get her in the Cally state of mind and right before you blow your load, set her pubes on fire.  Go ahead and let the fire scare the shit out her for a few seconds before you extinguish the blaze with your load and play the heroic fire fighter. 

Wow, if you can pull this one off - you need to send us a pic at contact@lowtwelve.com - especially if you manage not to start the whole trailer park on fire!

 

THOSE HOT SLUTS NEXT DOOR

So you fuckers love to see chicks getting naked?  Well, you've cum to the right place.  In this column each week we feature a different hot chick, although Next Door Nikki seems to dominate our reports each week.  She's hot as hell and it's no wonder her webmaster sends her galleries to us nearly every week!

While you're checking out these galleries, feel free to take the site visits.  They're usually free and you can see more than just a few pics.  Some of them feature videos and more.  If you join up as a member, you get to see all the galleries and some of them include some seriously wicked stuff!  Often times you can chat with the girls and mail in stuff for them to wear for future photo shoots.  How about that?

Check out these galleries we're featuring this week and don't worry about it.  I won't tell on you.  Promise!  Just don't blame us if you get in trouble at home or school . . . or like one poor Twelve Head - he got fired from work for looking at porn.  Use some fucking common sense . . . grab that box of tissues and get to spankin!

http://www.meganqt.com/hosted/gal/mqt_0342/x/1085048

http://www.megan-summers.com/hosted/gal/ms_0098/1085048 

 

CHRISTMAS HEAVYCORE STYLE

HO HO FUCKIN' HO!

Go check out some sweet deals now!

www.lowtwelve.com/hc-christmas.html

I've got a new page up on the Heavycore site for you fuckers to check out if you want to score some sweet deals on Heavycore merchandise.  I've also got some Low Twelve stuff on there too, so check it out now!

www.lowtwelve.com/hc-christmas.html

You can score a Heavycore shirt, or a Core til Death CD, or even a copy of the Roasting Posers DVD.  Think about how much your metal head friends would like something like that instead of the lame ass car vac or shaving kit?  Fuck all that - score some metal shit!
 

A LITTLE BAH HUMBUG IN ME

Ever since my kids got out of the "cute Christmas morning" phase, I really despise this time of year.  I don't know if I'm just getting old or what, but it pisses me the fuck off!  First of all - all you hear are Christmas this, and Christmas that, and all the fucking commercials that assault us this time of year.  I hate to be like that, but fuck - I can't stand it sometimes.

Not to mention how much it winds up costing me.  I didn't mind it so much when my kids liked $20 gifts, but now it's $200 PSP's or a fucking car - that is when this shit gets too much.  Not only that, but when the day is done, I'm lucky to get a coffee mug (don't drink much coffee to warrant needing a mug) or a hat (I don't wear 'em) and a feeling like I got fucked big time.  Now if I could have bought myself stuff with even half the money I spend each year, then it would be a little nicer.  So why don't we go to that system?  Everyone buy shit for yourself . . . what a concept.

I know, I know - it's about giving.  Well - for those of us with families that give and give until it fucking hurts all year long - a little payback would be nice.  Ok, I'm sure I'll catch some shit for this . . . but it's off my brutal chest.

To those of you with little kids - enjoy it while it lasts.  Because before long you'll be right there with me, giving Santa the middle finger salute!

Send me your hate . . . or love at pete@lowtwelve.com

 

 

LOW TWELVE OFF SEASON BEGINS

We enjoy writing music more than anything, so having some more time to do that is a good thing for Low Twelve.  I've already had to turn down a few show offers for this year, and while we miss playing live shows during December-January, it's something we've done the last several years to spend time doing other things that need to get done. 

So hang in there Twelve Heads - before long we'll be slamming it live again and you'll have several new songs to check out!

 

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ORDER A NEW LOW TWELVE SHIRT

Order one of these brutal new shirts!  See the back design below.  They're only $15 each plus $2 shipping.  If you want 2x, those are $18 plus $2 shipping.  We have them in medium, large, x-large and 2x.  Send cash or money orders payable to Pete Altieri to:

Low Twelve Command Center
PO Box 4324
Bloomington IL  61702

Outside the US, please send $6 shipping per shirt.

If you want to pay by PAYPAL, then send it to us at contact@lowtwelve.com and make sure you specify your size!


back of shirt


order the latest Low Twelve CD
"This Side Toward Enemy"

SCHEDULED LOW TWELVE BALL SLAPPINGS

Few can match the heaviness of Low Twelve live . . . . come see for yourself why soundmen all over the US have scratched their heads and asked "are you sure there are only three of you up there?".   Come out and support some seriously brutal metal and get a tampon thrown in your face too.  To book Low Twelve - email us at contact@lowtwelve.com

No shows booked for 2008 yet - coming soon!

 

LINKS YOUR ASS SHOULD KNOW!


Low Twelve - main site   myspace   isound   wallpaper   ringtones

Heavycore -  main site   myspace  online store

Killer Karaoke - main site   myspace

Rotting Corpse Records - Blabbermouth - We See Dead People - Jeff Gaither - Mike Stoltz - Consumption Junction - Rotten.com - Phil Flash

Thanks for reading the Brutality Report . . . we hope you enjoyed your weekly brutalization.  If you would like to be added to our email list to receive the link to this report each week then fill out our email form.  It's that simple!

Brutal 24 Fuckin' 7,


Pete Altieri
pete@lowtwelve.com